


Acceptance

by thebrightestbird



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Getting Together, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 08:34:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4131207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebrightestbird/pseuds/thebrightestbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve accepts that he will never find love again. Natasha accepts that she doesn't deserve to be happy.</p>
<p>Together, they discover how wrong they are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> Friendly warning about mentioned pairings:  
> Sam/Sharon  
> Sharon/Steve (vaguely)  
> Clint/Natasha  
> Clint/Laura  
> Natasha/Bruce

“How’s Sharon?”

Steve gives Natasha his unimpressed stare.

“What?” Natasha asks, returning his stare with her most innocent expression.

Steve adds crossing his arms to the stare. “Quit it, Natasha. You know very well how Sharon is.”

“I’d rather hear confirmation of what I already supposedly know from you.”

He rolls his eyes. “She and _Sam_ seem to be doing really well.”

“And why are Sam and Sharon doing really well?”

Steve internally groans. “It’s not for the reason you’re trying to insinuate”

It’s Natasha’s turn to cross her arms. “What am I trying to insinuate, Steve?”

Steve accepts his fate and says the words. “Because Sam asked Sharon out before I did.”

“That’s right, Steve,” she says, like he’s a four-year-old. “It could be you and Sharon doing really well. And the two of you could be out having a great time on Manhattan right now. But no. You’re here with me. Doing weapons and gear inventory. By the way, Sam needs to give his new spare wings a workout to ensure they’re reliable backup.”

Steve sighs. “Noted,” he says, but instead of punching in the information on his tablet, he pulls out his smartphone and texts Sam. He quickly gets a response. “Sam says he was clearly the better choice for Sharon because he actually knows how to have fun. And has the better butt.”

Natasha has to nod in agreement.

Steve gets another text. “Sharon says hi. She also says to stop giving me grief.”

“She does not,” Natasha says and immediately swipes Steve’s phone from him. It says, “give him hell,” with a winky face emoticon. “You are still such a terrible liar, Rogers.”

“Yeah, well, Nat. Really, why do you keep doing this? How is it from the moment we’ve met you’ve been consumed with finding me someone?”

Natasha keeps her eyes on her tablet. “Sharon going off with Sam is just a minor setback. I already have someone else in mind who’d be perfect for you. She’s Dr. Cho’s prized assistant, and the language barrier isn’t a big deal –”

Steve takes the tablet from her. “Nat, seriously.” He waits until she faces him and asks her quietly, “Why?”

She tries to give him a smile. It’s a bit of a failure, but she finds herself unable to look away from him, even with a grimace. “We’re friends, Rogers. I just want you to be happy.”

“It’s not your responsibility to make me happy. Friends don’t have to do that. They’re just supposed to be part of what makes a person’s life happy. _You_ make me happy, Natasha.” Steve said the words before he could evaluate how they sound. He panics. “And … _Sam_ makes me happy! Maria, too. Even Tony to a limited degree …”

Steve trails off, realizing he’s overcompensating. He stays quiet for a moment, giving Natasha the option to walk away from the conversation. But he hopes she won’t. This feels like a talk they are long overdue for.

“You deserve to be happy,” Natasha finally says.

Steve doesn’t know how a sentiment conveying something supposedly positive sounds so sad. “You deserve to be happy too, Nat.”

She does look away from him at that. She scans the wall with her gear. Several Widow’s Bites are locked in cases, along with her guns. “People like me don’t get happy endings.”

“Natasha, no. You can’t really believe that?” Steve moves closer to her. “I know your history. I know what you’ve been through. You say I deserve to be happy. After everything you’ve endured, it’s _you_ who really deserves happiness.”

Natasha remains turned away. “And I know your history, Steve. _Everyone_ knows your history. You have dedicated your life to doing what’s right at such a personal cost.” She finally looks back at him. “The least the universe could do is give you a girlfriend.”

Steve gives her a small smile. “It did. Once. And don’t pretend you don’t know about Peggy.”

Of course, she knows the great Peggy Carter, one of the founding members of S.H.I.E.L.D. and major proponent of women’s rights. “Like I said, _everyone_ knows your history,” Natasha says. “Even your tragic love story.”

Steve’s the one who turns away now. “Peggy and I could have had a great life together. But our time is long gone, and I’ve accepted that it didn’t happen. This is where I’m meant to be now. Fighting and protecting those who need it.”

“I hate to point out the obvious – ”

Steve looks at her dubiously.

“Okay, yes. I love pointing out someone’s obvious mistakes. Anyway, the fact is, Steve, you managed to do all that – fighting in one of civilization’s greatest wars – while still being with Peggy.” Steve’s eyebrows knit. “What’s your excuse now?” she asks him.

He gives a far-off gaze. “That kind of love, Nat, it isn’t likely to happen again. I’ve accepted that.”

“Funny how acceptance sounds an awful lot like giving up.”

Normally implying that he’s any kind of quitter would rile him up, but Steve recognizes the tactic. Instead, he thinks there’s some of Natasha’s personal truth in that statement. “Is that what you did?” Steve asks. “Was there someone who caused you to give up?”

Natasha looks like she’s going to deny it just out of habit, but she thinks better of it. This is Steve. She trusts him. “Clint.”

Steve’s not entirely surprised by the revelation. The way she and Barton operate in the field and how openly close they are to each other, something beyond friendship was always a suspicion.

“Clint and Laura have been together since high school. When he pulled me out of Russia, they were trying to start their family. Needless to say, he and I have always been an unrequited thing.”

She pauses for a moment and looks at the wall of bows. “It’s a kind of sweet torture being in love with your best friend.”

“So you’ve rationalized it all to mean you don’t deserve a happy ending?”

That ticks her off a bit. “No, Rogers. I _accepted_ that I don’t deserve a happy ending. And the fiasco with Bruce only supports my conclusion.”

Bruce. Until now, the scientist has been an off-limits topic with Natasha. Steve will catch her sometimes checking for any kind of chatter online about the Hulk. They both know it’s fruitless to look for him though. Bruce has decent control and is likely doing what he was doing before Natasha recruited him. Being good. Helping people.

That doesn’t mean Steve can’t be somewhat angry with him for running away. From the team. From Natasha.

“I thought he was different,” she says.

Steve lets a skeptical huff escape before he can stop himself. She slants her eyes at him, showing her offense.

“Don’t get me wrong, Nat. At the time, when you were flirting and getting closer to him, I was just happy you found someone you could open up to. But I’ll admit, choosing Banner didn’t exactly make the most sense. Sure, when not the Hulk, he was the most rational, mild-mannered of us all. But, honestly, why him?”

Natasha’s tired. Pivotal, revelatory conversations will do that to you. If this is headed where she thinks it’s headed, she’s going to speed it along. “Ask what you really mean to ask, Rogers.”

Steve looks hard at the woman. A fellow soldier. Smart and savvy. Deadly. Breathtakingly beautiful. A wicked sense of humor. Takes care of her friends. Doesn’t think she deserves to be happy. Should always be cherished and loved. “Why not me?” he asks.

Natasha wants to give him a look that conveys what a ridiculous question that is, but again, she’s tired. Tired of deluding herself. Instead, she shows how pained she is by the question. Because of course it’s one she’s asked herself. From the moment she met him and fought beside him against the Chitauri, she was asking herself, “Why not him?”

She hadn’t asked this about any person since Clint, and it frightened her senseless.

Steve sees all of this playing across her face. “All of those times you’d try to set me up,” he can read her so well, “you were just trying to make me unavailable. Like Clint.”

Shame mixes in with the sadness. “Twisted, right? At least when you accepted you weren’t meant to love again, you just cut off all intimacy like a normal human being.” Natasha lets out a sort of hysterical chuckle. “I find the possibility of love again, and I decide to make it match as closely with what I’m familiar with.”

“If I found someone else,” Steve finishes her explanation, “your feelings for me could be unrequited. You’d have an excuse to not deal with them and continue to believe you don’t deserve to be happy.”

They don’t say anything for a minute, letting everything sink in. But they never take their eyes off each other.

“Gotta admit, Nat,” Steve breaks the silence, “that is pretty twisted.”

She snorts a laugh and gives a self-deprecating smile. “I was _saving_ you, Rogers. From me.”

“Well, I’m a superhero,” Steve says. “I think I’ll judge whether I need saving.” He moves closer than ever to Natasha. Closer than he’d ever dared to hope. “We deserve this, Natasha.” The “to be happy” goes unsaid.

She doesn’t know if she can accept that.

But she kisses him anyway.

-|-|-

They’re holding hands as they walk away from the gear storage room. It’s after standard work hours on a Friday, so professionalism be damned.

“I have to text Sharon about all of this,” Natasha tells Steve.

Something clicks in Steve’s mind. “Did Sharon know about your motives when you were trying to set me up with her?”

“She figured it out pretty quickly,” Natasha answers. “Why do you think she backed off flirting with you? But besides that, she just really adores Sam.” She swings their arms a bit. “Guess you’re stuck with me.”

He gives her a smirk. “Yeah, it’s a real burden.”

Natasha sends off her text and tucks her phone back in her pocket. A minute later, both she and Steve get new texts. They stop walking and check their phones.

Sharon responds to Natasha, and Steve’s message is from Sam. They both say the same thing:

“FINALLY!!!”


End file.
